Friday, December 19, 2008

For You Aunt Tav:

Hayden modeling her new earrings

Mason: telling us not to tell Hayden that she is drinking her juice

Kennedy modeling her new do.

Mason modeling her favorite thing in the world: her blanket. ( thanks for making it Tavia and thank you Lora for mailing it to us)

Friday, December 5, 2008

One thing you should never ask a girl

"Sooo, when are you do?" I say, unless you see a limb hanging out of her vagina, NEVER ASK THIS QUESTION!!! I have always had a little buddah belly.( we will call it that because it sounds cuter than big fat gut). I remember when I was 17 a homeless man in Baltimore asked me when my baby was due. Fine, whatever. It doesn't usually bother me. Well, in a week two different woman have asked me the same thing. Here is the convos:

1st time:

Stupid Biotch One: When is your baby due?
Me: Oh, I'm not pregnant.
SBO: Oh, I'm sorry, you just really look like it.
Me: Well, I guess I can't use the excuse that I just had a baby because she just turned one.
SBO: Oh, So you just haven't lost all the baby weight yet?

Are you friggin kidding me? Wouldn't you have just shut your big dumb mouth after I told you I wasn't pregnant.

2nd time:

I was working ( i work at a kids clothing store once a week) and this little old lady came up to me and was frantic because she didn't know what to buy her granddaughter. I helped her pick stuff out and then when I was ringing her up I gave her a big discount. Needless to say she was thrilled and told me I was so helpful and she appreciated it sooo much. THEN she reached ACROSS the counter, rubbed my belly and said"good luck to you and your little one"!!!!

She is lucky that counter was there or she would have gotten a swift kick to the throat. Who does that?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

You know what's fun?

Making an amazon wish list of stuff you REALLY want but can't afford. I added a little widget of mine for any of you rich people who need something to do with your money!

Bad Blogger

It has almost been a month since I have posted. I might have a case of the winter blues. I HATE the cold. We have been stuck in the house for weeks and we are all starting to get cabin fever. It sucks. We got outside yesterday for a bit and took a walk to town to pick out our christmas tree. They deliver them for free to your house, another reason why I friggin LOVE this little town.

I am taking Hayden and Mason to get their ears pierced today. I might have to walk away and make my mom do it. I took my friends little girl to get hers done and almost cried. I will post some pics later.

A couple pics of my little ham & cheese:

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I want full fat...

Can anyone tell me why Dunkin Donuts stopped serving regular veggie cream cheese and now has reduced-fat? Have you tasted it? It is disgusting. The first time I got it I took it back because I thought it was rotten. Then I thought it was just the Dunkin Donuts here in Centreville that made the switch. NOPE. The one on Kent Island did too. Why can't I choose what I want? I don't even eat there anymore. Is it a coincidence that I have lost 14lbs since I stop eating their bagels? Maybe. Do I want my regular cream cheese back? Hell Yes!

Oh, and by the way, YAY for Obama!!!! Don't tell anyone around these parts that I said that or you might find my mangled body underneath a John Deere somewhere.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Happy Birthday Beautiful!

Mason turned one today! I can't believe it. I can remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. It feels like yesterday. It is exciting and sad all at the same time.

Friday, October 10, 2008


Kennedy and I were sitting in the living room, playing make-up. She was putting mascara on and she got some in her hair and on her cheek. This is what she says:

K: Mommy, do I look black?
Me: What?
K: Do I look black?
Me: Blank Stare, Speechless
K: My eyelashes, Did I make them black?
Me: Ooooh, yes baby. They look beautiful.


We've Been Booed!

Centreville has a fun tradition. Every year at Halloween someone starts it (I'm not sure who). You make two goody baskets, two letters with instructions, and two pictures of the ghost. After dark, you pick two people and put the baskets on their door step, knock and run away. Those people then do the same. It is supposed to be anonymous. After you get booed you have to hang the picture of the ghost on your door so you don't get it twice. Our basket was awesome. We got Halloween candy, silly straws, coffee mug, Halloween shirts and stickers. It was REALLY fun doing it to other people. We took Kennedy and one of her friends. They were so funny. Kennedy said "I'm scared but it's so fun". I encourage you to start this in your neighborhood. If you want a copy of the letter leave a comment and I will email it to you.

Friday, October 3, 2008

I Have No Words

As you can probably tell by my last few posts, I have nothing to write about. So I will share some pics from the week:

Funniest Man We Know!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Fun with The Blow Dryer

Have you ever...

wanted to hold someone by the ears and squeeze them so hard that their eyeballs bulge out of their sockets? No? Me either, that's weird. I was just wondering.

P.S. don't worry, I am not talking about my kids. This is a "grown up" and they deserve it. (not talking about my husband either).

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hey World...

FUCK YOU!!!!!!! Thanks for kicking me when I'm down. I'm going to be bed, let's hope you can be a bit nicer tomorrow!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

mason's new trick

Guess what Mason has learned to do? Take off all her clothes and her diaper. She only does it at nap time.

She thinks she is funny!
So do I!!!!

Monday, September 22, 2008

I dont get it.

You know those people whose houses are always immaculate, their kids are always clean and impeccably dressed, their own hair and make up always done. How do they do it? Why can't I be one of those people? I feel like I clean 24 hours a day and my house is always a wreck. As we speak, I have been doing laundry for the past 4 hours and I still have about 4 loads left. Laundry has got to be the WORST. CHORE. EVER. I hate carrying it to the basement, I hate putting it in the washer and then switching it to the dryer, I hate folding and I REALLY hate putting it away. I can't wait to get rich so I can pay someone else to do it for me.

Monday, September 15, 2008


I came across this while browsing the local college catalog. Do people really take this class? What kind of people need to take this class? Probably not the kind of person I will be tailgating with anytime soon!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Wanna Taste Something Delicious?

Try this:

Popcorn dipped in Balsamic Vinegar. HEAVEN!!!!!

Tis the Season

The football season is upon us. Almost always good, except when the Cowboys lose. Luckily, they won the first game. This is how I will see my husband for the next four months: Why do men always stand when they are watching football?

Friday, September 5, 2008

My kids are strange.

I have heard of kids having imaginary friends but this is just weird. Hayden has been pretending the fan and the fireplace are her friends. She talks to them, sings to them and when she goes outside she kisses each of them and tells them she will be back soon. She isn't weird, she is just creative. Right, RIGHT?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Another Quick Question...

Why does every politician speak like that? You know, like there is a period. after. every. word. I can't stand it. I am watching the Republican National Convention and I am pretty sure when John McCain just said he will earn our trust, he threw up in his mouth a bit. I did. And doesn't he have a stylist or someone to tell him not to wear that yellow tie because it matches his teeth? Just wondering. ( sorry that was mean, so unlike me!) And why do all these douche bags have to yell and scream after every sentence? If they would all just shut up this would be over a lot sooner. Anyone else think Palin is kinda hot? I'd do her.

Mean Girls

Kennedy has not wanted to talk about school since it started. She talks about riding the bus alot but if I ask what she did in school she always says "nothing". (she did tell me that Hannah Montana is in her class! There is a Hannah and I tried to tell her that she is not Hannah Montana but she doesn't want to hear it. I wonder who she inherited that 'don't try to tell me otherwise because I know it all' attitude from? Not her mamma).This was our conversation tonight at bath time:

K: Mom there is this boy in my class who follows me around all day.

M: Well, he probably wants to be your friend.

K: Um, no mom. He wants me to be his girlfriend. He tries to hold my hand while we are in line.

M: You can tell him that you would love to be his friends but you aren't allowed to have boyfriends.

K: But all my other friends will laugh at me if I am his friend.

I went on to tell her that it doesn't matter what other people think of it, you have to be nice to everyone, especially the kids that get left out.

I don't know what is more disturbing about that conversation. The fact that they are ONLY 4 and this crap is already starting, the fact that in just a matter of days she is already getting self conscious about what people think of her or the fact that I am freaked out that my four year old is talking about being someones girlfriend. I don't know if I am ready for this growing up stuff.

The Big Day

Kennedy started Pre-K on Tuesday. She was very excited about it but much more excited to ride the bus, or as she calls it "the big cheese". After I put her on the bus I headed up to the school for donuts for the parents. We got to watch them get off the bus and sit in the cafeteria while all the classes got together. She didn't cry and I was so proud. I thought I would have cried but I didn't. That was until I looked over at the next class and saw my friends little girl sobbing while holding onto her mommy. Koree looked up at me with teary eyes and mouthed "i gotta get out of here". I looked back at my baby sitting at the table with her classmates, gave her a kiss and got the hell out of there before I lost it.

I must admit, it has been nice for her to be in school. She only goes for half the day and while she is gone Mason naps and Hayden and I get alot of one-on-one time. We read books and lay on the couch together and watch cartoons. I am really enjoying this!

Waiting for the bus:
Proud Papa:
So Excited!
Getting a little impatient:

Their back packs look HUGE!

Happy 30th Old Man!

We spent this past weekend celebrating Bobby's 30th. (that's right, allll weekend. That's how we do it around here). We had friends and family over all weekend, had a few parties, cookouts, drinking games, and racked up a gigantic tab at the local watering hole. It was a great time. Happy Birthday Baby!!

(i took this at midnight on his birthday. He gets cuter every year!)

Thursday, August 28, 2008


That is Kennedys new favorite word. Anything I say to her I get a "whatev". Not whatever, just whatev. Where did she get that? I can't wait to see what else she picks up when she starts school next week!

Thursday, August 21, 2008


A Little Bit O Cash Fo That Ass...

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I am such a dork! Anyway, baby Cash was born this morning around 6:30. I have always heard people say that full moons put people on labor but I never really believed it until yesterday. We got to the hospital around 11:00am. The doctor sent Tesa straight to the hospital from her check up because her blood pressure was through the roof. She was to get straight into a room and set up for an induction. YEAH RIGHT!!! We waited in the waiting room for about an hour. After getting into triage, we waited for SEVEN hours to get a room. Tesa got bumped out of line for a room TEN FRIGGIN TIMES! Everytime we thought it was her turn another woman would come rushing in with a head hanging out of her cooch. One lady almost delivered in the elevator. There are only 17 rooms in the birthing center. They delivered like 20 babies yesterday. Every room in the birthing center was full, most of the rooms in the Pediatric units were filled with Labor & Delivery patients and they were beginning to take up some rooms in the ER. It was pure chaos. All the nurses were running around like a chicken with its head cutoff. ( i have never actually seen that but it is a pretty popular saying and I imagine some of these nurses looked like that) We managed to keep ourselves entertained. At one point, Tesa's sister and I had her laughing so hard so peed all over herself! That was great.

Around 10pm nothing was going on so I decided to head home. As soon as I pulled in my driveway, Tesa called me and said they just broke her water. At 6:00 she texted me: "getting ready to push, hurry up and get here and bring me a huge cup of coffee". I didn't make it in time. Koree and I got there about 20 minutes after. She pushed for like 6 minutes.

Anyway, after all the madness, bed wetting, tears, hemorrhages the size of volleyballs and "oh my god his balls are HUGE" talk, He is here and everyone is happy, healthy and hopefully getting a good nights sleep before they get booted out tomorrow. Congrats guys!!!

Quick Question...

Who else is sick of hearing about Beijing? How come every time the Olympics comes around all we hear about is that country? Who at the Today Show thought it would be fun to watch Matt, Meredith, Al and Ann talk about all-things Chinese for weeks? Whoever it is should be fired. Can we please move on to more important topics? Like 'How not to look fat in your jeans' or some other type pf serious journalism.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Still A Bit Of An Outsider...

I have been living on the Eastern Shore of Maryland for about a year and a half. Before that I lived in Philly and before that I lived on the other side of the Bay Bridge in Maryland...more like the other side of the world. I have adjusted quite nicely to this life. We absolutely love it here and will probably never leave. I love that I can walk to everything, we have Thursdays in the Park and the Farmers Market every Wednesday. The kids that Kennedy goes to school with now will be the same kids that she graduates with. Everyone knows you here.

Tonight, I realized I am not a true Eastern Shorer yet. As we walked through the 4H Fair all I could think about was how bad the animal stench was and how the men running the rides creeped me out when they were a little too friendly with the girls. I had to keep a close eye on the ground to make sure no one stepped in the heaping piles of horse shit. My jeans were covered in dirt up to my knees and unfortunately I decided to wear flip flops. I saw tractors bigger than houses and people bigger than tractors. One guy stared a my chest so long I had to check to make sure a boob hadn't fallen out of my shirt. I am pretty sure all the dust I inhaled was not only from the dirt kicked up at the truck pull but also from all the farm animals and their droppings. WHY, at such a redneck carnival was there no liquor being served? Doesn't that kind of go hand and hand?

As i watched my girls squeal in delight on the rides and get so excited to watch the rodeo I knew that this place would become a yearly ritual for us. This is where they will be raised and I must admit, I am smitten with this little town.

Next year, i will certainly have a flask stashed in my purse!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Alcoholism Can Be a Beautiful Thing...

I was standing in line at the grocery store yesterday. On the belt was stuff for dinner, a magazine for me and a Maxim for Bobby. The man behind me was extremely drunk. He picked up the Maxim and asked me if that was me. Have you seen the girl on the cover? Maybe everyone should be this drunk all the time!!!

You should be ashamed of yourself

Yesterday, there was a tragic accident on the Bay Bridge. Unfortunately, when something happens to the bridge the entire Eastern Shore/Annapolis area comes to a screeching halt. Every article I read or television interview I saw was people complaining about the traffic that the accident caused. I was in my office yesterday and the view from my window is of Route 50. I watched the traffic creeping by all day. I know it sucked. But you know what sucks harder? DYING. Why are people so concerned about how it was inconveniencing them rather than the poor man who lost his life yesterday. I didn't hear one comment about that or his family. Why don't you shut your whining mouths, be happy you have a family to go home to and just hope you make it over the bridge without someone pushing your ignorant ass over the side!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Dare I say it?

I can almost feel fall approaching...Almost! I love days like this. When the ac goes off, the windows go up and the warm breeze fills my house with the scent of fresh cut grass. When the sweltering heat and suffocating humidity breaks way for breezy 79 degree perfect days. Fall is hands down my favorite season. I love the first few days that you have to wear a sweater or jacket. I love sitting outside on the porch, wrapped in a blanket drinking a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. I love warm apple cidar (sometimes with a splash of Captain Morgan), anything and everything pumpkin flavored or scented, and all the beautiful colors of the season. This Fall, my baby turns one, my marriage turns three and my oldest girl is off to school on the big girl bus. I can't believe how quickly time passes. I am trying to slow down and soak up every moment of it. Here are some of my favorite moments from the past week:

Playing with friends:

Hayden fell down and scraped her knee. This is when I asked her if she wanted to go outside and play, she said No, because she was broken!
Thursdays in the Park:

Centreville Farmers Market:

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A few pics from the past week...

I wish I had something interesting to write about but I don't. So, here are a few pics from the last week.

Showing off for Daddy:

Singing on the dining room table while waiting for dinner to be ready:

Funny Face:

Sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed:

"working". Their laptops are dvd cases!